He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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