my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Randomize
