This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
