So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
