just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
