Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
