areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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