So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
