My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
