Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
