Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
