I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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