I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
