I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need water and some morals
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
