Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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