No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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