Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
