Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
