Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
