NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
