My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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