Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
