It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
