Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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