Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
