The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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