Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
