actually, I'm a sock model
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
