You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
