is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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