Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
