he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
