You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
