Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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