How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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