I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
