youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
