Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
