no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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