Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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