found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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