You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
