ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
