Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
