oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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