i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
