Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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