whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
