Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A bitchslap is in order.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
