You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Porn is love you can see.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
operation have a gay friend backfired
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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