i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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