I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
